My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
