i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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