idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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