My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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