Screwed.edu
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
