All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
