i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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