First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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