He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
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