You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I will pee on everything he values.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I just blew my weed a kiss
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
