I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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