I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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