forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize