I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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