was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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