Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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