I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize