I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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