I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
