When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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