So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Randomize
