You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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