i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
