so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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