I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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