My sheets look like a crime scene.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
