I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
