i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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