Dual....:-)
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
