I must be too annoying 4 u.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Semen is not good for contacts.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
