i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
