Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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