i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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