perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
3pm strippers are depressing
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
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