I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
