Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Rumble strips road head = magical
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
