you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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