Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
