they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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