I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
