Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize