you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
