It's like God shit irony all over that family
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
