Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
My underwear smells like fireworks.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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