So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
