so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
