he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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