The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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