You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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