yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
