nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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