How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize
