Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Randomize
