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Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Randomize
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