Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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