How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
its liver damage thursday
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
