Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Come on in and take your pants off
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