We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
