This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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