Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
